


to live constanly in a shadow is exhausting

by sonnywortzik (ellipsismttae)



Category: The Godfather (1972 1974 1990), The Godfather - Mario Puzo
Genre: Character Study, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Italian Mafia, Kinda, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, War, just dont read this, this is so bad bye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24514186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellipsismttae/pseuds/sonnywortzik
Summary: A character study of Michael which was supposed to be cute but is actually just very sad.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	to live constanly in a shadow is exhausting

It’s late; the world outside is scarcely visible from the lavish room, lit by caramel yellow table lamps and a small crackling fire. It’s late and Michael is thinking. He sighs as he lets himself fall further into the cushions of the embroidered sofa. And yet he hardly feels comfortable at all. He can’t quite say what’s on his mind but something is definitely giving him qualms. In rooms not too distant from him his brothers are sleeping. Although, his father is still awake. He doesn’t resent his father at all, far from it actually. He loves him with all his hearts joy and light. However, he just doesn’t care for what his father does, not against nor for the way his family lives. Truth is, he merely just wants to be normal, live a normal life free from murder or malicious omens sent by enemies. He knows this can never be true.

The flames in the fire start to die a little.

He thinks back to the war, of the things he saw and how he wishes he never did. He thinks of how such cruelty can live amongst humans and why it makes itself known far too often. He thinks of all the men he knew that are now victims to the Earth, buried deep in soil and mud. He knows what his father did. He knew that his injury wasn’t as bad as the doctor told him it was. But who was he to argue against Don Vito Corleone? In some twisted way he wishes he died in battle. Perhaps it’s because he’s scared of what he may become. Michael knows that someday he will have to get involved. He can’t turn a blind eye forever. The deafening screams of dying men don’t seem so scary anymore…

In all honesty, he just wants love. Love, and a family of his own. Someone he can devote his heart and soul to; someone who he can cherish and care for every day until he gives up the ghost. He wants a girl so beautiful that the stars admire her beauty, or perhaps a girl just as shimmering and shiny as the brightest star. He wants children of his own – ones that he can love and care for just as much as his father does for him. He just wants to be a good man.

But why does this feel so far away.

The room suddenly feels a whole lot colder. And Michael feels a far more scared.

The war wasn’t easy. Of course it wasn’t, no one would tell you that. He was only there for three years but it felt as though it were an eternity. But what was even harder was the thought of giving up. Being weak. Useless. Unneeded. Unwanted. When he became injured he had pleaded to stay in the Pacific, he knew his wounds were minor enough to heal. Alas, he was sent home. And his heart felt so very, very cold.

But he’s not unhappy. Of course not. How could he be? How could he be unhappy with everything that he has? Michael slumps further into the sofa and tries to ignore his heavy heart.

He knows what his father does is dangerous, and he also knows that that danger applies to him too. It won’t be long before he will be faced with the same problems as him. Michael’s mind drifts to the heads of the other crime families littered across the states and ponders if they are as kind and open as his father. He presumes not.

God he hopes he ends up like his father and not some cold blooded killer that some of these men appear to be. He hopes he never goes against his family; he hopes he never breaks someone’s heart; he hopes he never murders apart from serving his country; he hopes he never becomes cold; he hopes that the light will not leave his eyes.

…and yet, he can’t help but to think that that is how he will end up.


End file.
